So often we keep our real self hidden because then we are vulnerable and we've been taught to hide that so we armor up.
There's little book by Pema Chodron "When Things Fall Apart" (you con't have to be Buddhist for it to connect with you). I truly felt that my world had fallen apart. All the plans we made were gone, money was an issue (I thought), I would never be able to retire, my kids would like him better than me, I was a failure... blah, blah, blah, victim, victim, victim. That book really helped to bring me out of that and to figure out me. It has gotten me through a lot of tough times. It's not long, and you can read one chapter and let it marinate for a couple of days, then read another chapter.
I still pick it up and read a chapter to help me over a rough spot.
I think you'e doing great.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
