wife denies the affair

[MrBond]

You may not think your XW has anything to do with your current sitch, but believe me she does. Is your D from your first marriage or your affair?

" I lived with a lot a pain"

Despite how much "pain" you thought you were in, it probably didn't compare to what your XW went through.

"I never felt I worth anything more because my EW was a great wonderful women."

And yet you told your girlfriend that your XW was rubbish and that you shouldn't have gotten married.

"I got caught up in the addiction of it. I was so stupid then."

But it didn't make you change. You continued to drink and even drank while in a relationship with your current W who left her XH because of his drinking.

These are the hurdles that you are confronted with. The problem was that you focused so much on her A, that you glossed over your own issues.