It all depends on what the betrayed spouse can abide, Angel, and what their non-negotiable core beliefs are. To some, an affair isn't a deal breaker for instance, and for others it is. Then, each person is different as to how long they can hang on (or "stand," to use the MLC term). In my experience of studying literally thousands of affairs, it is a very rare individual who can hold on for 6 months or more, without sustaining serious emotional, financial and even physical health problems. For men, particularly, I have found that very few can hang in longer than 3-6 months, and then there's a whole additional dynamic of most women find such passivity in the face of their unrepentant affairs UNATTRACTIVE.
You, my dear Angel, were a very rare and strong bird. There are some -- not many -- who can do that. Often, I find these people to have a very strong faith in God that helps sustain them for two years or more. But most, sadly, lose their emotional health and often their finances over such a long haul.
Again, it all comes down to what YOU can abide. If having an open marriage is a deal breaker, then yes, I almost always advise a betrayed spouse to lay that boundary at the outset, to be clear.
