I like Drew's suggestion which is in keeping with STFU and KISS principles.
My fear (there's that word again) is making me feel like I've already waited this long and that waiting any longer will hurt my chances further with my kids. On the flip side, I have fear that getting the L to serve my W with papers will derail any positive gains that have been made with her willingness to share time with the kids. I'm still leaning toward having the L do her thing.
Divorce and custody are two SEPARATE things. Yes, your W may react angrily to the D paperwork but cannot bar you from having 50/50 custody with your children. Yep, lawyers can do a good service to us for they have our best interests when dealing with the separated spouse. Especially when one just ups and leaves with the kids 4 hours away without any notice and/or explanation.
I'm not sure why my W continues to ask if I'm coming to see my kids or not, or course I'll always be there
This makes sense as it involves logistics and the 4-hour drive. She wanted a confirmation that you'll be there to pick up so she can organize things from her end. It's hit me very hard just how totally my life was about my W and kids since this whole thing started.
Completely understandable. That ^^^ feeling will come in waves. Allow those feelings to come and go. With time, it'll get better...trust us here. We all have been where you currently are at the moment. This is why we all stress the importance of GALing and get yourself out of the house.
You can always decide to go back to the band. It is still there, right?
Be gentle with yourself as you go through this process. This is tough stuff!!
