"I truly believe if my ex would of exposed it and faught harder for me. I would of snapped out of it."
That never works.
"I had no faith in God then and I was living a fantasy then. I lived with guilt for 9 years with the A girl."
See it all stems from you and selfishness. That's how your W is right now. If you start guilting her or giving her more pressure, she will leave even faster. Plus because you cheated on your first W, your current one can always throw that at your face.
"See my w has anxiety, depression and self esteem issues...she needs help. She said she has a great relationship with God."
You're not her therapist. Stop trying to be one to her.
"Sorry to say God doesn't like affairs and divorce."
Didn't stop you.
"I know this affair won't last long."
I'm sure that's what your first W thought about yours.
"She has a very soft heart and she also is very sensitive. I know she has a ton of guilt."
Mindreading.
"I'm not sure I really know what to do at this point."
You have to let go of what you can't control. Obviously you've see what doesn't work, and despite what you may think, fighting even harder for her won't work.
What were the primary issues that the two of you had in your M?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
