For Scorp7...since your thread is locked.

[Scorp7]

Barry, I'd like to think that. My fear (there's that word again) is making me feel like I've already waited this long and that waiting any longer will hurt my chances further with my kids. On the flip side, I have fear that getting the L to serve my W with papers will derail any positive gains that have been made with her willingness to share time with the kids. I'm still leaning toward having the L do her thing.

Drew, good edit to my message. I'm not sure why my W continues to ask if I'm coming to see my kids or not, or course I'll always be there, so I felt the need to clarify that. Leaving out that line is probably best though.

Cat, you're right. I do feel like I've slipped back the last few weeks. I think my changes had been centered around R with my W and not just for myself. I don't know if there is any hope for a R with my W or not (it seems hard to believe there is a chance right now) but I need to continue with my changes for myself and my kids and leave my W out of it.

It's hit me very hard just how totally my life was about my W and kids since this whole thing started. I'm trying to get back out into the world and have a life of my own again. It's been hard to do, I'm realizing I didn't have much of a life at all outside my family, other than my music. Since I've given up the band I'm feeling very alone these days. I've always hated being alone and living in our family home is pretty painful a lot of the time.