I will try a timeline to at least help sort some of this.

2001 - we met
2001 - first child conceived by accident
2001 - she was living with her brother and I owned a home, she moved in with me.
2004 - She moved into her own house. We were both unhappy. I did not believe I wanted to be with her and was immature.
2004 - we started seeing each other again as we both realized we had feelings.
2006 - She gave me the boot because I would not commit to her (marriage). We discussed that I actually was wanting more and we were back together in a few weeks.
2009 - Conceived second child by accident.
2009 - I proposed.
2010 - We sold her house and moved back to mine and we bought other property to build a new home.
2013 - she took of engagement ring without even telling me........... I had to ask.
2013 - we sought counseling but I was not getting any answers. Counselor was BRAND new.
2014 - Just moved out. We told the counselor around 11/13 that we were done but I did add that I was not really done but agree that if she is not going to work on anything, nothing will change.


2 days after she moved out, I sent an email that I will always love her, yada, yada. She came back with she had some feelings come up after moving that she was not expecting, does love me, I am everything she wants as a life partner, BUT "we don't know how to do that".

A few days after there was a local show in town that I knew her and the boys would love (we did it every year). She agreed to go but cancelled the day before.

A few days after that, I sent an email to ask simply if we were done. Replied yes.

There is no cheating here, she was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue in 2013 which I looked it up and points right to me so I figured this would happen. She DOES NOT talk to me about anything deep. We chit chat until the pot boils over. We have never had a screaming match. I think there is some verbal abuse back and forth but that is it.

I have told her countless times that I am miserable because she does not seek to touch me, kiss me, hug me, and rarely have sex. I would say we were 2x/mo maybe and in our prime, 4x/mo which usually frustrated me.

Her entire family is divorced. Mom married 4x, dad 3x and died single, aunts/uncles all divorced. IMO, she is either wired or taught to run and she admits that. She has been so masterful at moving out in getting all the details worked out but she would not do that for our relationship.

Her prime issue with me right now is my job. We are both self employed but hers affords no growth. My ventures are costly both financially and time and she feels I am living on a penny and will never support her.

I did not pay for her other house. That was her decision and I was paying for my own. When she moved back, I paid all the housing bills, util, trash, car maint, etc. Yet in her eyes, I paid for nothing. She paid for food and the boys. I ALWAYS asked to sit down and look over finances but she won't.

SO.... She sees me as her ideal life partner, but says we are done. Her new place is 1 block away, I can almost see it. She says this is to make it easier for the boys. I am just unsure how to proceed here. She admits that she is blown away by how much I love her and attached to her and she could never learn to love like that.

Totally confused.... but I have had no contact for a week now. I am not going to end up on her door step begging.