Quick Update since it has been a while: -Being out of town and working many hours has made it virtually impossible to DB other than wait and hope. -Wife has definitely pulled away since last May/June. Would not make extra moment to meet with me when I was home for Christmas
I have pretty well accepted that this is not going to work out. I am still emotional about the loss, too much so. I feel that I am needing/looking for closure.
Dilemma: So I am back home and I drive by W house in the middle of the day, her off day and guess who's car I see in front of her place. The OM that was supposedly only a one time PA and long term EA.
So after calming myself and not slashing tires and waiting for him to come out which was a definite thought. I now ponder what I want to do. Understand I have never exposed this to OM's Wife nor to any of my grown adult children. This fact has been a constant question in my mind...
Do I let this go, walk away, say nothing???
Will I continue to have anquish and have doubt in my heart for not being honest with my kids. I am not one who lies and am usually an open book, wearing my emotions on my sleeve. I feel this secret has hurt my relationship with my kids.
If I take this path I am pretty certain I will be filing soon. I am ok with that at this point. It would at least bring me some closure and help my mental health, maybe....
Do I expose this to OM's wife and to my kids (along with the wrongs that I have done)???
I ask for what end am I looking for? What good will it bring?
What they are doing is wrong. My W is still close friends with OM's W. She is either oblivious or maybe even accepting of the situation??
Telling my kids would lift a huge burden off of my heart. But it would hurt W tremendously. She has been hurt plenty in her childhood (SA for years). For that reason alone I have kept this to myself and a few trusted friends.
Sorry for the length...
Appreciate any feedback/opinions/prayers....
I would rather feel pain then never feel at all... Separated 3/2012 T 34 yrs M 27 yrs
