I just confirmed the affair, I had picked up a digital voice recorder and put in our bedroom and heard his voice which was a man suprising how that picked him up.
I listen to this conversation and it started out about how was work etc... hows son etc... and there is a code name for me FG because she was on the phone with me when son asked if FG was being a D, and W asked whats a D he said a Douch. They laughed. They then went into the conversation About the settlement agreement w and I had last night when she called me. She actually was wanting me to give her my agreement in five minutes, I said I would need some time to process this and get back with her and of course she got mad, and I said I would rather stay married and she said she had to go. anyways she tells him about this and she says he says he dont want a D and she told him I'm giving you one and she laughs, she tells him if it wornt for her we wouldnt have any of this first of all I make double the money and she was great with finances, we never argued over it. She then gets in her soft voice with him and she says oh yes I desrve it and will take it and the she calls him a coocoo she did the same thing to me when I would tell her what i'm going to do to her sexually. I could actually her his voice. She did ask him when he went through his D did they agree on everything. So not sure if he is still going through it or if its done etc... it amazed me on how it was all about me, but then again I remember when I had my affair I did the same thing vented with the new girl and the new girl pressured me to get D.
I just don't know who he is, I'm actually a bit relieved that I found this out and I'm not going crazy, like she wants me to believe. I'm wondering how long this has been going on. Now I see why she wants this done so fast. She even tol OM that he is taking in all this drama and she said something like your suppose to listen to me. So how long is this thing going to last and do I expose it to family and friends etc... like on marriage builders says to.
I just can't believe she is doing this,and if you met her you would never suspect it. I have been working afternoons shift for over a year and I now look back it played a significant roll on our M.
She goes out every weekend and now I know why she got mad at me when I subscribed to familywhere on tmobile which shows eachother our phone locations, I like the idea nice safety thing for daughter who is 11.
So not much I can do at this point, I'm going to continue my DB ways and continue to work on me. I did let w know that infidelity was not a deal breaker for me.
It amazes me how they re-write history and say it was all big mistake getting married. I did the same thing to my exw when I had the affair, told the new girl how we should of never gotten married it was for all the wrong reasons etc...
I woke up one day and told myself I will never ever cheat on another person in my life, due to the pain it caused my EXW and the 9 years of pain it caused me in the relationship with the women I cheated with. I carried that pain the whole relationship with other women, I have know idea why I did. I do know the ow was 10 years younger than me and im sure that played a roll, plus my own insecurities.
My w is now on this ride and she now has to go through her journey. God spoke to me a few times. The first he had me go to church and I didn't know which church the cathloic one or this new assembly of God that just opened near me. I wavered with my Daughter back and forth almost turning around and I decided the the assembly God one. I pull up and they are having amarriage confrence, we go in and the scripture was all about fighting for your family, Nehemiah 4:14b Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes." I was amazed he told me to fight, so I have been DBing and she was on the fence and now it seems she has jumped to the other side.
God spoke to me a second time. W called me tuesday because she forgot her lunch and work jacket at home and asked if i could bring it to her, I sid sure, I put alitle stationary card in her lunch and it said The little things in life make the big things in life. I wrote in it W(name) Have a great day with smiley face Love (name). along with a cofee. I meet her in the lobby and she smiling like usuall and she seemed akward and seems like she wants to give me a hug and she says I hate this lobby, ay other time we would of been in the fire stairs kissing. I leave and she calls me ten min later that was so sweet you got me that card and coffee. I tell her thank you. She then says didn't you feel akward at my work I said no not really, obvisouly she did not, I'm not sure how many people not situation or if OM. So we chat for a second and then I let her go. She then calls me back again telling me she doesn't know how to take the card and coffee, she then says she just wants to run away from all of it, I suggest maybe we need to seperate and she goes on to say "I have to follow my Heart" I tell her we need to take our anger and resentment and put it in an envelope and put it away for awhile and focus only positive things she says who told you to do that, I said I've done some reading etc.. she then continues to say I don't know if I can and says again "I have to follow my heart" we end the call. I go into the book store and go to the spirtual books I look and look and then I see the love dare book, I pick it up and sit down I read the first page and in it says Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is more deceitful than anything else", and it will pursue what feels right at the moment. I didn't think to much about it it until later on, I said oh my God he just told me she is pursuing her heart and its not your fault H(name). I then go and read Matthew 14:29 on peters faith, I continue to read into Matthew 15:17,18&19and one again "for out of the heart comes evil thought-murder,adultrey,sexual immorality,etc.." So God is telling me. I just don't know how to continue thcan get is fight especially after hearing herconversation with OM.
I do have to say W does have anxiety issue that gets real bad at times, she is constantly putting herself down, low selfesteem,and she is ocd with cleaning etc.. I have never stopped loving her even with her imperfections,
I continue to pray to God for his wisdom and his will.
