Note to self NEVER go to a James Blunt concert with someone who is leaving you...NEVER
Cried through most of it... Great performer just his lyrics.
Hahahahaha, Lou one day and I promise you this...you are gonna read this comments and laugh like crazy.... you are so funny!
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
so I really blew it today For some reason I could not stop the tears.. I was so angry with myself.. it was just as he was leaving so not a time to walk away..and I know he hates it, the crying..
Some of it was frustration.. trying to sell the house, keep it in good shape and he says see you in a month ...maybe...some of it was that the morning had been like it was before BD fixing some things on the computer, and then I realized he is leaving to go back to her- He was friendly and easy to be with. The stress seems to be reducing. he kept saying that NOONE will control him so I am not sure if he meant me.. or her or the world..(way too much mind reading) He is so anxious about being controlled. Then he talks about when he is in a better place for himself will he be able to think about anyone else.
Our conversations were pleasant and some were philosophical and a little relational.. though I tried to avoid that but this afternoon.. mess.. tears, sobs, more tears...The whole process of selling, finidng a new place though he is going to help with that...moving.. and mostly alone.. I was a mess. so did not do light and breezy and friendly.. He said he had enjoyed the concert..so that was positive.. I hate my weakness to day..though there was no more divorce talk...but than again we both know nothing can happen with that until December..
We need to be separated a year before the divorce can be started. thats December. ?.I hope we have something else by then. I really don't want a divorce... Loua
What would you do to make your life better? Some friends seem in order, non? Let's put together a plan. It sounds like you are moving in any case - can you get to a place you like more? You have a chance to make something good here.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
. I am moving closer to him The new job is much better than this one so that is good. The question is how far away. He lives about 2 hours from my new work place..I can't expect him to do much for me with that time space.. I think half way is ok.. But then a long way from any friends I make at work.. tricky.. I will find a new sports verein..for running..locall
Not sure what else... Certainly I am too much alone...which is bad for me.. Need to think some more...
Essen which is a town I like.. sadly nothing like Franconia...industrial rather than rural... The challenge is I like beibg at home and being with people I care about..not really being out with groups making small talk.. I get really bored.. I know I have to push myself.. this weekend I will visit some friends..and restore the garden ... My tulips are coming up to.. I love spring..
Glad the trip with your daughter is back on... Loua
Yes, Franken is quiet and green. If it is Essen you are going to, then there should definitely be meetups nearby - see if there is something you like and check it out. Stockholm, my nearest big town, has dozens of meetups and there should be some people there that are sympathetic.
Yes, spring is great. My secretly planted tulips (I do this every year) are coming up too.
Gutes Wochenende -
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
Hi Luke I understand the comments folks made about your German background...really.. They say anxiety but to me it sounds like a german engineer, trust me I know... Not saying it the most relaxing way to live, not saying it is even a good way to live but it is pretty common around here.. The distance with my H is the hardest thing to understand.. He has made up his mind and it is done and there is NO discussion..
but you are right Essen will have more opportunities to meet folks.. sadly my H won't be part of my last Bavarian hike.. there is a group going and as he was the one who wanted to conqueror this challenge I said he was welcome...he said no.. which is probably better as it would have been stressy..
now working on doing EVERYTHING to make this house fit to be shown to people who might want to buy it..and doing it alone.. garden, cleaning, packing, the garage.. everything..
you are so funny!