She left - 2

[gogofo]

We had a talk, about one and a half hours of relationship talk. The W came over at around 6:00 and we ate and played with the kids. Put them down at around 8:30 and continued small talk for a little bit.

W them gives a look and says "well, did you want to talk about us or were you never going to bring it up?" My response was "no I wasn't going to bring it up because last time it created issues."

So I asked what she thought and what happened to us and she talked about slowly feeling trapped and that her opinion did not matter. She said she tried to do things to fix us and when she stopped I did not notice.

She said things about not coming back and then sometimes she would say "not coming back to that" meaning the way it was before. She basically reiterated the point that she did not feel wanted or appreciated.

She asked me what I wanted to say and I told her to ask, but she didn't, she just wanted me to talk. I then told her how I didn't love myself and based my self worth and happiness on achieving and that is what was causing issues for me. I said I felt better about myself than I had in a long time. Explained how I felt the last 6 months and that is where she started to interject her feelings.

As much as she downplayed it in the beginning of our separation, the last six months were a big deal.

She said the only reason she has not filed for D was she did not want to cause me undo stress, etc.

The biggest thing she said was that she thought about just filing and getting it over with. Then she would wait to see if I would like her again, but she did not know how long that would take.

I asked her to clarify if she felt that I did not like her and she said yes. I started to clarify that I never did not stop loving her but before I got to the "stop loving" part she told me to stop. That was probably good because I was getting emotional. One of the boys woke up just then and when I came back we really didn't get back into the talk.

There are so many things I wanted to say to her and things I wanted to bring up, like reconnecting or MC etc, but I just held tight.

I will expand on it more tomorrow, but I need to sleep.