Wow, so I've had a crazy few days, with some real despondent times here. My W is really frustrating me. I need to go to NC with her myself. I just have had enough.
Unfortunately my oldest was rushed to hospital today due to breathing difficulties, which after some meds etc. he began to fortunately stabilize.
While we were in the ER, my wife mentioned that she needed a computer. In retrospect, a 180 for me would have been to say ok, but with our current shared finances and muddled separation agreement, I hesitated. I don't really want to take on more debt pre divorce if it comes to that.
My W took this as a chance to reinforce for her how I controlled all the financial decisions etc in our house before. Looking back, she's right. I wish I had just said great idea, but I argued it a bit, and tried to get a feel for the next few months, saying maybe we should wait till our picture clears up
Unfortunately, this was perceived as controlling, and this was hammered into me and all of a sudden I am to blame for everything again. Ah, good thing I have Starsky's Spew Jacket....
I went to the gym to try and get some anger and frustration out, but to no avail. I backslid a bit when I met her to get the kids. Explained some of my frustrations, and then she left the house. I know some times these days will happen, but now, I am left to regret that I didn't recognize a great opportunity to do a 180. Man, this is tough sledding. Focus on self, focus on self, focus on kids.....my mantras.
