Stinkin' thinkin' saps energy from your head, from your spirit, from your awesomeness...to what end?
Try to go to the first family counseling session with a beginner's mind. Yes, I would imagine that there may be some tension under the surface because of pent up anger, resentments, blaming, and emotions all over the place. This happens when two people, who have been fighting over a period of time, in the same room feeling dug in on their own POV, self-righteous indignation, and thinking that they have the "right" ideas of how co-parenting should look going forward in post-D life.
You can go in there with an open mind while still protecting your heart. That is a reasonable thing to do when you've been hurt by H countless times.
Before the S, you two did co-parent effectively, right? The only difference is the charged emotions and mistrust that is getting in the way of figuring out the BEST ways to co-parent together. Which is why a neutral party can be a tremendous asset for the pair of you as you navigate through a "new normal" with separate households with school schedules, school vacations, fees, travel, sick times, emergencies, etc.
Trust the process with the family counseling. An excellent one will aid the process greatly. Do your homework and ask around for references.
