I see the point about not predicting an outcome, or going in with dukes up. I really do. And I have been able to do that in other areas of my life, with other people. Open heart, open mind. I think it does mean taking a bit of a leap of faith, and being a little bit vulnerable.

And, IF my H wanted to work on our M, rather than divorce me, I would be willing to do that, 100%. But he is divorcing me, and recently, he has used me being vulnerable against me. So how do I protect myself against that, without being wary of the possible negative outcomes?

me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14