I dont know why she cares except that she is from a very religious family and they would be so disappointed ..dont know what they would do. No, OM is D and still lives with his xwife. W said nothing going on but why would she use his birth date as a password for her private email box if nothing going on - she just setup that password Friday and I only saw it because my daughter's phone is tied to W google account so I saw W Gmail with password reset for her phone sms private message box. I think i am going to look at the messages and see if anything "incriminating" is said but not say anything till I talk to my L and see if it might help in anyway. W today said our psychiatrist called her to see how things were going. W then said if I move out that is the only chance to maybe have us be able to reconcile ...i dont get it ...what's that all about?
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
W then said if I move out that is the only chance to maybe have us be able to reconcile ...i dont get it ...what's that all about?
Tell her: your psychiatrist needs a psychiatrist......Ahhahah ( i am joking dont tell her that...)
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Just walked in the door. ..W said home already. I said pour me a little glass of wine please? She said no and got up and went upstairs ..to bed I presume ..tomorrow I am not getting out of bed..i am sick of doing everything for her and getting nothing in return ...wtf
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
Just walked in the door. ..W said home already. I said pour me a little glass of wine please? She said no and got up and went upstairs ..to bed I presume ..tomorrow I am not getting out of bed..i am sick of doing everything for her and getting nothing in return ...wtf
Eims??? Why did you asked her to serve you wine dude???
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
Well Sandi ...i am in "my room" right now with door closed ...she opened the door and said you making coffee this morning ..i said no and she shut the door. Now she has left for work and had asked me a couple days ago about picking kids up to take them to the doctors this afternoon and I said I'll see how my schedule is and we can firm up plans later...now she left and didn't mention it ...and I didn't say anything so I guess I will just see if she text me later and assume she's handling it. She wants me to move out ...well I'm going to act like a roomate she never sees to the extent that i can ...not a friend roomate but like a boarder
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
That mood you says she is in is the mood WAW will always be in for the time being.
Why not get your own wine? Even if she was pouring herself a glass, still get your own. IMHO doing things like this will push W farther away, making her see "more of the same" from you. You are allowing her justify her decision to walk.
Is the wine pouring a small issue of a bigger problem possibly? It seems a bit needy IMO.
As far as doing everything and getting nothing in return, MWD says pretty quickly in DR that the LBH will have to pull up their sleeves and get ready to do all the work for now. It is not fair but that is how it is and it is key if you want to R with your W.
I feel for you and what you are going through. You have some of best veterans on this forum commenting and helping you out. Not being on here long I don't consider myself a vet. So I hang on their advice and try to use it if I can. If not, I explain why and they tell me where my thinking is probably off. I/you have a choice to heed their advice or to dismiss it. It probably is somewhere in between. The point is they are here to help.
I do visit other peoples threads on here when I see a veteran, that I respect, trying to help them out. The sitches aren't exactly like mine or yours but it allows me to see the wisdom in what they telling these other people who are in the same boat as us.
Listen to what these guys/girls say they know what it takes to R a relationship. Not all are successful in saving their M but they still have great advice to offer.
It is hard to look at yourself in the mirror and be honest with yourself about what you see looking back at you.
I had the same problem when I first S, but I decided that I wanted to fight for my M and started doing it hopefully all the hard work will pay off. If it doesn't I am confident in the fact that I will ok no matter what.
I am 9 months in and I am prepared for as long as it takes. I have seen baby steps from my W and that is all I can ask for. More importantly, I have discovered a lot about myself through this turmoil and love the person I am becoming. I have a ways to go and it is a lifetime journey.
My W has commented on a couple of occasions about these changes I have made/am making and it seems to upset her. That is not my goal to upset her but I cant control her feelings.
I am making these life changes for MYSELF, you need to do the same. It will pay off for in ways you don't even know about yet. You have to start though so when you look back on this time of upheaval in your life YOU can say proudly I made it through and came out the other side a stronger person. This applies to whether or not you R with your W. Life doesn't stop if DBing fails so you must do things moving forward that help YOU out.
I am sorry for being long winded and I hope your sitch improves.
I look at it this way, at some future date I want to be just like some of these vets and say I have R and pass what I did on to someone else to help them through.
The only way I can make that happen is to try and follow advice from this forum and be proud of the person I see in that mirror every morning. It my choice to do this or not. I choose yes. I hope you agree with at least some of what I have written.
Hang in there, one way or another it will work out!!
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
Sandi ..help me out here ...W left to go to work and take kids to school. I go downstairs and their dirty dishes - cereal bowls, etc still on the table. Dishwasher full of clean dishes not touched, etc. (and her fragile dirty wine glass that must be hand washed still on counter too). Well every morning I get kids breakfast and make sure they cleanup and every morning I empty the dishwasher (and wash her wine glass!), etc. Should i just leave everything so when she comes home it's still there as if I weren't living here or what?
Yesterday she tells me to move out because she said the psychiatrist told her she will then realize what it like to be on her own ..i wonder if that's BS. I'm not making her coffee and packing her lunch anymore. I feel like not getting the kids breakfast and packing their lunches either so she can feel what it will be like when she is on her own during those times she has the kids but I feel that's just wrong. I did tell her yesterday that I will pack kids lunches Monday to Wednesday and she can do Thursday Friday ...and she screams "Here we go again!...you know I have to get ready for work in the morning" ..I said when I'm out of town for work you pack them the night before ...she just rolled her eyes and gave me a look of disgust. I didn't want the discussion to escalate into an argument so I just dropped it thinking I'll do what's best for the kids. Living here with W during D process creates difficult moments on how to deal with certain situations but I'm not moving out.
Me: 47 Her: 45 M 18 years T 22 years S-6 D-9 Separate rooms 1/5/14 Wife filed for divorce 2/5/14
