For Scorp7...since your thread is locked.

[Scorp7]

Pushing for more of what? Money, material things, sex, all of the above? What exactly were you pushing for?

All of the above. My insecurity led me to not feeling ok with a lot of things in our life so my response was to fix things, ask for more etc. Not cool, and it's one of the things I'm still carrying around the guilt about. I had everything I could have ever wanted and more but I just didn't know how to be happy.

Did you sit and mope, did you watch porn, did you ignore her and the kids – why were you not fun to be around? What did you do that makes you say this?

At times, again, all of the above. In the last year it got worse where I let myself slip into a pretty deep depression. I isolated myself and my family from everything. We did have lots of good times in 2013 but by then the bad overshadowed the good from my W's perspective.

Honestly, did you flirt with the other women to feed your own insecurity? How friendly did these women get? Did she see someone make out with you? Go down on you? I am trying to figure out how bad was it? This may explain what your W may really be feeling. Did she feel used? You mention below that you were more adventurous in your sex life than you W. Did you push her to do things she didn’t want to do? Were you more concerned about you getting off than her? Once again, how bad was it? From where I sit, I could see that sex, flirt, etc. could have played a huge part is how she feels and why she did what she did.

I never did anything physical with those women but I did sign an occasional body part and let them talk to me longer than they should have. It was rare but it happened. I also kept a friendship with an ex that I was involved with for a long time before my W and I were together and I think that bothered her too.

I also did push her to do things sexually that she wasn't really in to or wasn't comfortable with. She would say she did them to make me feel good or to make me happy which I'm sure she really resented.

You also mentioned that if her parent found out about your sex life that it would not have gone over well with them. To me, that is a red flag. I am not judging you, hell personally, I can be quite freaky but I am trying to understand if maybe….just maybe…your W felt used sexually. Could that be the case?

I made a BIG mistake in asking my W to try a threesome with another woman. That was about 3 years or so ago. We didn't end up going through with it but I have to think that even the suggestion hurt my W. Yet another thing I feel like a giant a** about now.

I fully admit, I was a horrible H way to often in our M. We were together for 4 years before we M and I don't think I was a great boyfriend then either. Too insecure, too controlling. It's the past, I wish I could change it, I can't. I sure can learn from it though and I'd never make the same mistakes again.