Kids said aren't you going to help mom get our stuff in the car, etc..i just told them that mom said she needs some space because I'm always around.
Why would you say this to a 5 & 9 yr old? Is that your idea of a strong leader? What are they suppose to think of men when they hear their father make pathetic remarks like that? Your son needs to know how to deal with a possible rebellious W one day. Is this the example he is to learn from?
You don't get it about giving her space, that's for sure. First of all, the kind of space you should give.....is the smothering type. No intimacy,no contacting, no questions, etc. that kind of personal presence of you right in her face, so to speak. However, you don't let her run you out of your own home!!! If she doesn't want to be around you under the same roof.... then she can leave. And let me tell you something, she will never have ENOUGH space from you as long she's in an A! But when DBing refers to giving her space, it means backing away from her personal space. It goes hand in hand with not being needy, clinging, acting desperate, or cowing down when she tells you to not be home when she's there.
I have tried to give you some guidelines, and i don't know if you really don't understand, if you are thick skulled, or making excuses. But let me put it this way, do whatever you want to do with your life......and in your own home .........as long as it doesn't require her involvement in any way. In other words, if you want to watch tv to relax with the kids, that is fine. If you want to watch tv with her, that is probably not so fine b/c the LBH is so obvious, and she will feel that pressure. That is why I tried to give you the anology of having a relationship of landlord/renter.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
