My H said he would be "happy to" go to counseling with me.
It scares the sh!t out of me.
Why?
I can go into this with an open mind and be ready to listen, but I would be an idiot not to be scared of this.
Because I have been protecting myself emotionally by limiting my contact with my H and choosing to be with people who are safe for me. Going into a room with him feels like entering a lion's den.
Because I am afraid that if I even sit down in a room with my H, and worse, if he is actually well behaved (which I imagine he will be in front of a C), I will get sucked back in emotionally and it will send me backwards in trying to move on from him.
Because I am afraid to be vulnerable around him since he has recently taken things that I told him in vulnerability and thrown them in my face and used them against me.
Because if all I do is STFU and listen, as I have been doing the past 6 months, my needs will still never be met.
Because my H has been on a warpath and I am afraid that if I open up to him, he will use it against me.
The list goes on.
I am not sure, if we do this, what to do. Just talk about the issues at hand and not talk about anything emotional?
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
