I had a ton of guilt for the situation. I didn't blame my W for what happened. I should have given her at least half the blame for the situation but I didn't. I realized I had been a giant a***ole and had been for a long time. Forget the excuses for why I was the way I was. I wasn't angry at my W, I'm still not, I was angry at myself for letting things go the way they did.
We live life...and we learn... This way of talking to yourself its dangerous... Accept who you are and what you did... Its who you are and thats all, not your job to judge yourself.
Look I gained weight while M and now I am exercising.... I dont tell myself what an ass that I didnt work out, its just at that time I didnt feel like it because I was busy with other stuff...stuff that at that point was important to me...thats all...life keeps going and today I go for a 80 miles bike trip...
The things you did were strictly necessary at that point...
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
