Reaching out for support and advice 4

[bluesgal]

Yes, fear of abandonment and fear of being alone-Bingo.

I made peace with my H yesterday. I called him and asked for a truce. Tried my best to convey my feelings and then a quick update about the kids. It was a really nice talk overall. H tried to twist and turn my comments, but I steered them back. I am now going as dark as possible. I feel better about it now that we've smoothed over the sitch with my mom and I put the ball in his court as far as updates with the kids. HE can call/text/email if he wants to know the daily updates with our family.

He actually expects me to do this. In the past he sighs and sounds annoyed if I called him about the kids, but now tries to blame me for him not being in the loop because I never call him and tell him anything. Shrug. I told him HE left so he can call for any updates that I'd be happy to give him.

I feel so much better today. He said he's miserable and unhappy.

I went to supper club with friends last Friday night. It's tough to be the 'single' one with a group of couples. I kind of feel like a 3rd wheel sometimes. My H made a comment that he didn't know about it and he would have liked to go. What?? He wants to be invited to things....so he can just ignore me the whole time? Strange.

So then I invited him to church with the kids and I last night. He declined saying that he's not ready to do those things in our town because he feels like everyone is looking at him and judging him. (We live in a town of 1000 people. Everyone knows each other or are related.)

I cooperated with his requests and now I'm ready to kick off being as dark as possible and giving him time and space to look inside himself. I hope he chooses to do that.