For Scorp7...since your thread is locked.

[Scorp7]

Mach

You avoid any real confrontation with your spouse, and you are more than ready to bow down to her every whim.

Not doing that anymore. I've said I want 50/50 with my kids and will not discuss anything else with my W until that has been completed.

And now, you are talking about getting a Nanny for your kids when they are with you ??

Given the option, would you say that your kids are better off being with the Nanny that you hire ?? Or their Mother ???

I don't want a nanny or any other child care for my kids. This is just a practicality. I'm not sure how anyone could work AND give their kids the full attention they need. My W is not with our kids most of the time right now either. She is either away at work or when she is working from home my MIL watches the kids. I will be with my kids all the time, whether a nanny is there to help or not.

What is it, that intimidates you about the Female gender ???

They don't intimidate me. Actually I think I love women in general too much. To the point that I think my W is much better than I am. I put her and a lot of women on a pedestal. Likely partly due to my own insecurity.

What did the normal day look like within your house when your spouse was still there ???

Monday through Thursday I drove into the city to work in the office. I would be away from 9am to about 4 or 5pm. I drove my D6 to school every day and took my D4 to pre school when I could. I worked from home each Friday and which allowed my W to work with her clients in the city so my D4 and S2 were home with me. I tried to work from home other days during the week to be with the kids as much as I could. My W did most of the cooking and I would clean up afterward. We shared laundry, cleaning the house and caring for the kids. When I wasn't at work I was generally at home with my W and my kids other than when I was doing something with my music which was fairly rarely over the last couple of years.

Rarely...does a woman just decide one day to move away from her Husband and move herself and her young children 4 hours away without some sort of indication that it's happening, or going to happen.

She filed (what you now call a BS) complaint against you, that ...

1- You didn't argue with
2-She didn't follow up on

For me, that indicates that somewhere, someway, there has been a past issue with this ....

Has there been ?

Why was she so intimidated by you, that she left in the way that she did ????

It took me a while to come to grips with the fact that my W had planned, at least on some level, to leave me at least a year before she left. Why was my W intimidated by me? I'm guessing because she saw me angry plenty of times in the past, not at her, but just at life in general (not cool I know). Add that to the fact my W is generally a very shy, quiet person and I can be very much the opposite. When we first met my W was afraid to answer the door because she was so shy.

So it wasn't that you played music, it was the fact that you CHOSE music over her...

I think it came down to my W seeing that no matter what I did or how much she supported my I didn't seem to be happy. She did everything for me, supported me with everything and yet I still didn't seem happy. In truth I was very happy but I did a really bad job of showing that to her.

So...why are you not playing still ??

I actually quit my band within days of my W leaving. I felt I needed to devote 100% of my time and attention to my family so I couldn't put in the time needed for my music. I know my kids loved watching and listening to me play and I do miss it so I likely will return to playing at some level again down the road. I don't see myself doing any touring but just playing locally, doing some recording at home and most importantly teaching my kids to play if they want to learn.