Bea, This is the safest place to come vent, rejoice or whatever floats your boat. Yes, we do get it and do understand what you went through and continue to go through. People learn from each other more so on this forum because we do get it.
We are here to support you any way that we can. We may not have all of the answers but at least we can toss out ideas to help one another along the way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.