Help!!!!

[25yearsmlc]

You know what ye21? I can barely remember. I had a large, varied circle of friends, and was always busy, always out visiting someone, doing something.
I am trying to get that back but it seems much harder 10 years down the road.


You're very young for being here. That's a good, lucky thing - b/c as bad as you feel now, trust me when I say it is far worse if you remain in this situation for another decade, only to realize you might have found your authentic self now, and you wouldn't be shutting off the possibility of meeting OMs who CAN meet your needs b/c you won't be stuck here...

You say it "seems much harder 10 years down the road", and I get that. But the thing is, it won't get easier than it is now. It only gets more difficult, so more years of this don't make it just happen.

You have to make it happen and the sooner, the better.


I am trying to force myself out there, but it's hard, especially with my guys in tow.

We know it's hard. We know It's not easy. You still have to do it. It's not helpful to keep telling yourself how hard it is, how you "don't want" this, etc. You still must do it.


But I am getting there and there are some super kind people out there.

Yes there are some wonderful people out in the world. Wonderful men, wonderful women, great friends, super funny folks, smart people, etc.


I just don't know what he is hoping to achieve by moving home. He says no hope to reconciliation, so why come home now, 3 months after he made the break. Isn't it a big step backward for him?

2 things: Stop wondering WHY he is doing/planning/saying anything. Stop being in HIS sandbox. There are no answers that you will find satisfying. Period.

Stay in your sandbox. And as for his reasons, who knows?

All we "know" is he'll save money, and perhaps improve/keep his R's with the kids. This is not so surprising to me.

However I would take it as a chance to show my new self to MYSELF and that's it. I would not stare at him to see if he's noticing "NOW???" I'd just practice for myself. Mini tests and make sure you pat yourself on the back when you do well.

BTW, did you read the last post I sent you? It was long. I don't recall any responses from you but there are guidelines in the post for you to consider following. I got them from my DB coach, who was a Godsend.


I feel like he is pushing me backwards. Trying to upset things all over again. Regain control for himself b

He's not doing anything to you. To help you move forward, see the 4 agreements below. (#2 is particularly useful to recall in order to detach.)

You must detach, and GAL helps with that a lot. So do these---

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.