For Scorp7...since your thread is locked.

[Scorp7]

Ye, I realize I've come across as though I feel I'm a victim. I don't really believe I feel that way. I definitely don't think my wife is a bad person at all.

The problem here is you... Your self steeme its one of the problems here....
Basically you dont love, respect or care at all about the most important person you ever had in your life....thats correct that person its you!

I agree 100%. I've been seeing a IC to deal with it for the past 5+ months but it's something that will take time. I do take pretty good care of myself but when it comes to my W I definitely put way more value on her than I do myself.

why would she respect you if you dont respect yourself???

My problems stem from insecurity. From that I tried to compensate by giving my W and kids everything (house, cars, stuff). I gave them all that but I didn't give them enough of what mattered most, myself. Being insecure, I never thought I was good enough for my family which in turn led to depression. Not a great combo to be sure.

Bottom line, I know I need to work on myself and that I can't control anything with my W. The changes I'm making are for my kids and for myself. I do think I'm getting better but it's going to take time.

Are you ready to start now or should we keep going and continue to "blame" her??

I guess I may have come across as "blaming" my W but I take FULL responsibility for my 50% of the situation. My W has to live with her role in our M and what's happened since but there's nothing I can do about that.