my story, my problems that I started

[MrBond]

" She says that she is too hurt, etc."

From your EA or something else? When you say you had an EA, how far did you push it?

"I don't know if that's a smokescreen though."

I'm sure that's part of it.

"I'm missing how to reconnect with her for sure since she SAYS she loves me so much and knows she will miss me."

Aside from going to MC, what have the two of you been doing specifically for fun and intimacy? Have you tried doing something completely different?

"Past childhood sex abuse issues with her rearing up, too. Tough, tough, tough knowing I can't fix her."

Yes you can't, but you can lead her out of her depression. The OM was probably an ego boost to her because you were wrapped up in your EA with the OW.