I can take on the world if need be, but when it comes to my W I have a very hard time going against her. In our M I ALWAYS checked with her before I did ANYTHING. I did a lot of things that were really only for me that my W went along with but she's told me since she's been gone that she actually resented those things. Again, as I've said before, she was either afraid to tell me or I think the main issue was she didn't want to disappoint me by not going along with what she thought I wanted.
The "buts" above....bolded in text, and bolded once again in actions, or in this case.....INaction.
The rest ?
The good points are invalidated by the "buts" ....
And like Drew said, pretty script with her words. She is going to find ANYthing to push away from you.
One thing that I was eluding to with my prior post, was that there is something that just isn't right when I read you, and the way that you sell yourself to please other people.
If you were to honestly read back through your threads, I think that you may agree that something is amiss there. It's not the way that you answer things, or speak. Actually, it's the things that you avoid talking about, and the way that you don't fully address certain things that throws me off with you.
So I am gonna lay it out there and ask some very specific questions to you....
You avoid any real confrontation with your spouse, and you are more than ready to bow down to her every whim. You explain that you are doing this in hopes of saving the marriage. Yet I see you bowing to the same set of things with your Female lawyer. You tend to answer more directly to the Female posters here.
And now, you are talking about getting a Nanny for your kids when they are with you ??
Given the option, would you say that your kids are better off being with the Nanny that you hire ?? Or their Mother ???
I'm not sure what your view is about the traditional "roles" of a Husband and Wife within a marriage. Although I get the feeling that your ego has (and I haven't met a musician yet that doesn't have an ego), allowed you to slip into 'caveman' mentality with this....
What is it, that intimidates you about the Female gender ???
What did the normal day look like within your house when your spouse was still there ???
Another thing is....
Rarely...does a woman just decide one day to move away from her Husband and move herself and her young children 4 hours away without some sort of indication that it's happening, or going to happen.
She filed (what you now call a BS) complaint against you, that ...
1- You didn't argue with 2-She didn't follow up on
For me, that indicates that somewhere, someway, there has been a past issue with this ....
Has there been ?
Why was she so intimidated by you, that she left in the way that she did ????
Originally Posted By: Scorp
I'd mentioned a few times that I'm a musician, played in bands for about 20+ years, toured and did the whole thing. My W was always, seemingly, very supportive of me with my music. When she left she told me she resented my playing in my band, especially after our kids came along and that I should have quit years ago. I'd been conflicted before she left and thought about giving up the band for a long time but she encouraged me to keep going with it. Since she's told me how she felt I've had a hard time even touching a guitar and music has lost all the joy it used to give me.
I am calling BS on this one...
First off, I don't think that you are really seeing the point here.
Women in general, are the most supportive, nurturing, loving people that were ever created. They far outweigh the efforts of us cave dwellers....
Women also, want to be chosen...EVERY DAY by the Man that they love....
So it wasn't that you played music, it was the fact that you CHOSE music over her...
And IF you would have chosen her, everyday, then you can add faithful to that list above....
And it isn't that she told you... that hurts....it's the fact that it is true, and your own guilt has you reeling from it....
Hindsight is 20/20, and I'm sure that you would do it different now...
