Thanks ladies I agree that the "that's interesting" approach seems to be the way to go. I have to go back to thinking before speaking like I did in the beginning. I should reread the section on beginners mind and remind myself that this h really is a stranger to me.
These small nicenesses have made me think about how much I miss my h. (I had really shut that away) I find myself reaching out to make a connection by telling him funny stories about s. So far he has responded well.
I am on guard though waiting for things to turn again.
He has been drinking much less in the house but he still goes out till 2 or 3 am so I have no idea really.
It is funny you think I am patient. I definitely was not pre BD. At least with h. I am a northern girl living in the south. I wanted h to think and act as fast as I did. After BD I have learned how to let go of controlling others. I am still working on it. My meds help!
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
