I think there are two questions here....1) what boundaries should I implement and 2) what should I do for best odds of saving my M.
Regarding boundaries, I think it's largely dependent on what you can live with. Boundaries and meant to protect you, so you draw them at where pain starts, or where you refuse to take more. It's not about punishing your spouse....it's about protecting you.
With regards to how to approach the issue of OW, it's tough. I dealt with this myself for a long time, and am really only starting to truly get it. I think Denver posted this in one of my threads or a year or two ago:
Quote:
Plan A - Get along with cheating spouse, show them legit changes, don't rock the boat, be kind and loving, be the person that the cheating spouse fell in love with... essentially be the rock... the lighthouse home.
Plan B - Take all of that away from the cheating spouse. No contact except for "bills and boys" as J3B coined it.
I did Plan A first...for a long time....until I felt like I had become the man only a fool would leave. Only at that point did I decide to go to Plan B. And honestly, I've waivered on Plan B (which is in essence a boundary) many times....each time only to be disappointed and hurt.
