You had said a while back, to Drew, that you wanted honesty...
This is all in my opinion, and I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way or not....
Something is off for me when I read you. I feel as though there is a part of this puzzle that isn't on the table.
I feel as though your Spouse has something major, that is up in the air, that she is using against you for her leverage....
You are very quick to defend her, you are very quick to not want to upset her. You are very quick to agree to whatever she wants, and to go against her in any way....
Now that you have a lawyer (that is female ?), you are very quick to agree to what she says now, and not fight for what YOU really want. YOU are the leader in your client/lawyer relationship. Right ??
Scorp states HIS needs, and Scorp's lawyer attacks to obtain Scorp's needs....
What is it, inside of you, that allows other people to dictate YOUR life to you ???
What about Scorp ??
Why doesn't what Scorp wants, matter ???
I don't know man, maybe it is me. I just see you folding up like a $10 suit when you feel that you aren't pleasing other people, and you are willing to sacrifice yourself, for everyone else in your life.....
The "buts" that I mentioned above...
Are ALL the excuses that you use, to sacrifice what you want, for everyone else.
And like I have said here before, your fight for your children has nothing to do with your marriage. And I still don't feel as though you believe that aspect of it.....
It's all or nothing for you....
I may be off on that, yet usually where there is smoke...there is fire....
I can take on the world if need be, but when it comes to my W I have a very hard time going against her. In our M I ALWAYS checked with her before I did ANYTHING. I did a lot of things that were really only for me that my W went along with but she's told me since she's been gone that she actually resented those things. Again, as I've said before, she was either afraid to tell me or I think the main issue was she didn't want to disappoint me by not going along with what she thought I wanted.
Now that I've heard all of these things from my W it's like I have a mental block on anything that might seem like I'm doing something for myself that would go against my W.
I'd mentioned a few times that I'm a musician, played in bands for about 20+ years, toured and did the whole thing. My W was always, seemingly, very supportive of me with my music. When she left she told me she resented my playing in my band, especially after our kids came along and that I should have quit years ago. I'd been conflicted before she left and thought about giving up the band for a long time but she encouraged me to keep going with it. Since she's told me how she felt I've had a hard time even touching a guitar and music has lost all the joy it used to give me.
I know standing up for my rights as a father to my kids is not going against my W. In fact, it's what I think has to happen for the sake of my kids. I still have this nagging feeling like if I go for too much of what I want that it's hurting my W. It's something I have to get over for sure.
Me-40,W-37 D7, D5, S3 Separated Oct 3/2013 T 11 YRS M 7 YRS
