It is just good to say/write the tings that one deals with, largely alone. I do not have a partner, and while my friends are amazingly supportive, it is now 8 years and more since all this happened! A long time on planet earth. My children - well it is their father acting like this, and it isn't good for them to be over-involved.
And it's good for others that come here to read about it.
I remember in the beginning I thought I was crazy or losing it. I had a lot going on at the time including my ex acting like a spoiled teen, family that was sick/dying and in need of care, school, job pressures, teen & pre-teen, financial issues (who didn't?) and so on. I really did think my mind was going because my ex wanted to leave, then decided it was my fault. Then wanted me to leave (go figure) and accused me of all kinds of things.
Then she left and a few months later married her "friend" and continued to accuse me of all kinds of odd things. Seriously, it was bizarre. She also had such hatred and contempt it was palpable. She said she wanted to be a single parent, wasn't sorry, hoped I ended up alone and so on.
Then she couldn't stick to the sep agreement (documented). And would send me emails out of the blue (I wouldn't allow her to call any longer) accusing me of the strangest things. She couldn't write a coherent sentence for the most part.
Now? She avoids talking to me, but will answer questions/business related if needed. I do same. She is a stickler now for rules of the sep agreement, whereas before they were just "guidelines". She is following my lead at this point, which is interesting in itself, but she very much wants to pick a fight and does not remember the accusations, timelines, or telling me she never loved me, I deserve better, and she wants to be a single parent.
Go figure.
My point? We all have similar stories. We all need to vent them and cannot make that stuff up. People outside of this forum aren't likely to understand what we are talking about. I don't blame them, nor do I envy them their innocence. I was there once and I remember thinking the same about such things... hehe. Silly me.
So keep posting. It really does help people who come along later to see that they are not alone. That just when they thought their situation was the worst possible thing a human could do, they read about somebody else that "one ups" them and reminds us all - it could be worse
Keep posting, and while I'm sorry you have to go through this, I'm not sorry at the same time. I think you'll get a lot of value out of this, believe it or not. I was surprised at how much I've received both from my situation and your posts....
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
