I am approaching the one year mark from the bombdrop and am a little disappointed in myself for not having been better at DB. I feel like I could be in a much more peaceful place if I'd focused more on me. I never realized how much I was really trying to control outcomes.

Well trying to control your recovery its not gonna work either, this is a process and we experience different status trough it, whatever you had done is past and you cant change it, looking backwards doesnt help, thats WHO YOU WERE, and its important that you accept that because that made you who you are today...

When we talk about what we did "wrong" we are judging ourselves and it works for nothing... It was necessary to behave that way in order to move forward and grow spiritualy...thats all you have to see...
Its good to do a fearless and moral inventory of ourselves, I encorage you to do to google 4th step AA and write down all the resentments you have, complete the 4th step and see what are your fears....
When I did mine, do you know which one was the most repeated pattern??
Fear of abandonment...and here I am with a WAW... That doesnt tell me she abandoned me...bla bla bala...its telling me to work and find out why my low self steem, why that fear of abandonment and how to overcome that...as simple as that wink
Untill we dont reach a spiritual recovery we cant move forward...

12 steps programs insist terribly that the problem its not alcohol, money sex, love or drugs...yes because there are program for love addicted as well .. What they keep repeating you is that there is a deeper problem behind addictions....and its always a spiritual one....

When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.