tbm4evr ...continued2

[tbm4evr]

Thanks Sandi. I recognize you are right and I do want to grasp at any straw out there. But as everyone says you cannot change your spouse only they can change themselves. I agree that W can figure out anything she's REALLY INTERESTED in. I had some doubts but after your post I thought well she figured out how to get a divorce!

W agreed to RetroV when we first talked and then came home from work yesterday and said I looked at it some more and there are all these followup sessions ..so we would need someone to have the kids for a whole weekend and then for the following 6 Saturday nights ...I just said we could figure that out if we had to
. She said i dont know right now. I said i thought you agreed to go and she said no i agreed to think about it ...so im just letting it go again at this point and she can bring it up if she wants as she is now familiar with the program.

W mood swings are unbelievable ..The night before things seemed positive and last night she then says things like "i have no space, in the morning you are seeing me and the kids off, if I come home during the day you are here (i work from home), at night your home (last night I got home at 8) ...i mean isn't that what a father does - in the morning, say bye to his kids? Aren't families home together some or I would like to think most days after school and work - have dinner, get kids to bed, then kick back and do some reading or TV watching or whatever? I'm out two nights a week, usually Thursday and Saturday and if W was out two days ...that would have us together as a family 3 nights a week. Is the W and I together after kids go to bed 3 nights a week too much? We're not even "together" per se all of the time. Some nights i may just read a novel or do something else on my own. Last night W says I'm going out tomorrow night around 9. I just said ok. She going out with her girlfriend that's has no marriage and is in an affair - i know I can't do anything about it but wish she would "see the light". This morning I packed the kids lunches and had breakfast with them and said goodbye and then went to my office so W did not need to see me. Kids said aren't you going to help mom get our stuff in the car, etc..i just told them that mom said she needs some space because I'm always around. When I was in my office W and kids left for work and school - not one word spoken with W - first time in 20+ years that when we were both home in the morning not a single word was spoken.

The whole sitch is hard but im just going to focus on myself. The D is moving forward and I wish the W would be willing to try everything before "throwing in the towel" but all I can do is have hope ..cant make her ..she has to want it and right now her view is "its too little too late" ..."I'm done - accept it" - really s*cks.