Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

This is going to sound weird but I have to ask.

If my W felt/feels like she was/is an unequal partner in our marriage for a couple of different reasons, I know this because she told me this is how she felt/feels, Would doing things to allow W to feel like an equal partner create pressure or be considered pursuing now that we are S?

For instance, I am considering discussing with my W to just transfer money from my account herself instead of me doing it when I see she has scheduled a bill to be paid. We both have full access to all accounts so it won't take much doing.

Before in the M I would transfer money from her account to mine to pay bills each payday(she always knew I was doing this and what amount so there was no confusion).

I feel this will give her more flexibility to pay bills and maybe even start to pay down debt again. She has no job at the moment and hasn't had one since about 2 weeks after the S. She does make some money at an odd job but never knows when she will get paid.

By allowing her to transfer money of an amount and on a schedule she comes up with I think it will relieve some pressure from W in regards to if she will have money to pay her portion of the bills at the time they are due.

Is this sound thinking or will it just create tension?

I don't mind paying more of a % of the bills but don't want W to feel like she owes me anything.

I have no expectations with this option if it is accepted. The only thing is I hope this will assure that the bills are paid on time. By having her transfer the money herself it will also allow me to quit mind reading on when she might be scheduling a payment.

A couple of times a bill payment was one or two days late. If this would have happened before in the M I know that I would have made mention of this and handled it very badly.

These couple of times that it has happened I haven't mentioned anything because it is not the end of the world and it is not like we are skipping payments completely. Overall, since the S she done a wonderful job of handling the finances and I have told her this on more than one occasion.

In fact, now if a bill is close to the due date and hasn't been paid W will come to me and tell me "In case you were wondering I am paying x bill tomorrow or on x date." I just tell her that is great and thanks for letting me know.

thoughts on the subject are appreciated.