It seems like such a head game. And it is so tiring not being on autopilot with my reactions all the time. I have definitely had growth moments for myself. I realized that I have exhibited emotional patterns in our marriage learned in childhood with my narcissistic mother and codependent father. I have had therapy to deal with the abusive history but I think marriage was a trial I had to learn through. So basically I see how I wasn't responsible for my own happiness, had a sense of entitlement etc. So that has been a great healing revelation. I feel like I still see baby steps as I continue my 180s, detaching but then I wonder if I am just interpreting what I want. I have arrived at a place where D is not so shocking or unimaginable. I am curious, I do not know of an A but kind of expect some infidelity to be revealed before this is over. How does a DBer react when that is revealed?
LL 43 H 51 T 8 M 6 SS 17 15 S 6 D 3 H MLC started early 2013-think earlier actually, when BFF almost died mini-BD 8/13 separate rooms IDLYA, demands D ASAP 1/14 DR,DB,180s,LRT,GAL since mid Feb So confused
