Sorry about the situation with h and your mother. Again that was something beyond your control. You do need your family's support. At this point in time he is not able to see your family offering him help in a positive way. That has to go in the let it go column.

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15