First off, I cannot make any unilateral decisions about the kids. Nor could I block my H in having any say, even if I wanted to. The parenting plan is negotiated between the two of us, and, if we cannot agree, will ultimately be decided by a court. I hope that it will not come to that. We will see.
The reason for not having 50/50 parenting time NOW, is because it is a major disruption for the kids, and can be very stressful for them. I am saying this not just based on my Mom instincts, but on my discussions with child psychologists, my own C, and my L. When my kids start to see a C as well, her opinion will of course be paramount.
Kids are not an asset to be divided. They are people who have feelings, and neither my nor my H's desires or feelings are relevant at all. What is relevant is making sure that the kids are happy, healthy and well adjusted.
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It seems to me that you are setting this up for H to "fail" at this so you can say to yourself, "Ah, I was right about this all along!"
Not at all. I want my kids to have a good R with their Dad. It is very important to me. I have always wanted that, and I have always acted accordingly, when we were M and since BD.
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You may not always agree to H's parenting ways...yet he is their Dad. He may not always agree to your parenting ways...yet you're their Mom. As long as the kids aren't in danger, one wouldn't really care if H gives them Koolaid instead of healthy V-8 juice. See what I'm saying here?
Yep. And I don't say a word about the way my H parents them when it is his time with the kids. There are a lot more important things that are considered when we are taking about the best interests of the kids - not just what they drink.
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I'd urge to take some time to really delve deeply into this stance of yours and reconsider it.
I have delved very deeply and I know that I am doing what is right for my kids. It is not a selfish endeavor on my part. I am very comfortable with this.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
