M, The standard is what is in the best interest of the kids. It is not in their best interest to go from having Mom be the primary caregiver to being with Mom only half the time.
Says who? According to YOUR own filter? What about Dad? Does he have any say in this? I am not against 50/50 EVER. Just not now.
Why not now? What is it about "now" that is stopping you from granting 50/50 to H? This is the part I don't understand at all. Now as opposed to 5 to 10 years from now? Who gets to decide this? You? That is deciding unilaterally. No wonder why H's nose it out of joint on this one. From his perspective, you are BLOCKING him from having a say in this. After all, H is their Dad.
I think we need to slowly increase the overnights with H, and see how the kids are doing. Same with the schedule - see if the kids do better with longer blocks with each parent, or frequent back and forth.
According to who's set of rules? Is that according to YOUR yardstick of WHAT?? What do you mean by "seeing how the kids are doing"...by what standard? Again, they are YOURS. Without any input on from H on this. This looks like it's all stacked against H. Is it fair to H, to the kids, and to their R?
It seems to me that you are setting this up for H to "fail" at this so you can say to yourself, "Ah, I was right about this all along!"
For what??! Just so you can feel smug and superior in the Parenting Stakes? This isn't the Preakness Stakes.
You may not always agree to H's parenting ways...yet he is their Dad. He may not always agree to your parenting ways...yet you're their Mom. As long as the kids aren't in danger, one wouldn't really care if H gives them Koolaid instead of healthy V-8 juice. See what I'm saying here?
I'd urge to take some time to really delve deeply into this stance of yours and reconsider it. I am thinking it is all about YOUR motherly instincts that are kicking in here...we all get that. But don't forget H in the equation as well as a father.
Like 25 said previously, it isn't bad at all that H wants to try to step up as a Dad. Good for him!
Wonka,
You are absolutely WRONG in this. Melissa's h is using the kids as a pawn and doesn't have their best interests at heart. Why are you berating her? Because she is trying to protect the children from a selfish control freak? you've done a lot of good in your previous threads to her. This one was absolutely rude.
