My H has been gone seven weeks and I am in so much pain. I'm beginning to lose hope as he is so horrible to me and to be honest I'm not sure it would be a good idea to have him back, but wow does it hurt and I just ache for him. I really hope that I am not still so sad in a year's time. That is a very depressing thought.
Miranda, it does get better! I'm newly divorced and to be frank, 18 months ago after BD if you told me that D was my destiny I probably would have been suicidal (or more suicidal than I already was). I really credit DB'ing for putting me back in control of my life. I became the strong, independent person full of positive energy that I was before I got M'd. I feel better now than I have in many years, since well before BD. Be patient with yourself, recovering from this is a long process. Own your feelings, don't shy away from them. Take them head-on. I suggest reading The Happiness Trap, it really helped me understand and deal with the emotions I was going through.
Originally Posted By: suckerpunch
I don't "think" I am depressed, at least I don't believe so. My moods don't swing much. I am not way up. I am not way down. I am more dispassionate, but with a lot on my mind. My mind and some of my heart just feels HEAVY. I guess that is the best way I can explain it.
Do try and get a T, they will help you with that, and they can determine if you need to go on A/D's again. I know you don't think you're depressed, but it's very common for people in depression to not realize they're in it, after you pull out of it and look back then you realize you were in a lot worse shape than you thought. It sounds like you're doing things that should be making you happy, but then you say it feels like you're just "going through the motions of life", so something is clearly wrong there. I think many of us make the mistake of waiting for things like this to fix themselves instead of seeking help. Go get the help, you deserve to be happy no matter what path it takes to get there.
