Hey Melissa smile look I trully believe that you are funny, you have a positive outcome and you seem like the "el alma de la fiesta" basically what we call in Spain that person that arrives to the party and changes the dynamic, Making that party much better.

I dont know you personally and never hear your voice, so its hard to get to know you well by only this forum. But look I am in a 12 step program for money, basically I am "addicted" to not earn enough... My W brought me to that program and if I consented her she would it brought me to 16 more.... She tough I have all kind of "addictions"...
Today I meet with her and she was incredibly angry, accussing me and threaten me with screwing my life....... At first I asked myself why? Why all this?
Then I listenned to my sponsor and he told me....its not about you...its about her... Pray for her serenity, she is in her disease and she is sick... And I started to feel compassion and see that its exactly the true.... She is feeling like that because thats the way she feel better... In 4 years and a half she had blame her father, her mom, her grandma and the world because of her unhappiness and you know what I did for a long time? Trying to rescue her of that and you know what? It didnt work.... I am the number one on her list of the Ten most wanted criminals....

Its in her brain, and you H has that on his brain too, he is like my W, a person that suffers an emotional immatureness, which its not wrong or right, its just the point where he is now, right now..... And people in that state the dont need a rescuer.... They need to face life.
Meanwhile they will destroy everything in front of them...they are like bulls out of control... Hurricanes and you have to let them go... He loves you but he is uncapable of facing that feeling now because he has 300 million feelings completelly different on the way.

I can see you dont take well criticism, Melissa you are not supposed to be perfect, you are who you are and you have to accept yourself the way you are and everything that happens the way it is....it svcks? Hell yeah its awfull, do you think I enjoyed my W telling me in front of the sprint store lady: if you dont pay the $900 dollars taxes you own I will press charges against you... That was awfull Melissa but she is sick and I cant fall into the same level... I used to but now I am recovering and I can see how all that affected me in the past...

You deserve to have a happy life and you will have it, but you need to start wanting to have that.... Have you read the book "codependent no more" ? Take a look at it, you are doing great, this is the way this its supposed to happen, dont resist against it and let yourself go, its going to be fine, you will be fine... Nobody expect nothing from you so you dont need to prove yourself.

This is your path and you have to walk it as well to grow up and be the grow up Melissa, I would like you dont have to feel those feelings but the pain its recovery and its very necessary... This is not gonna be fixed in 6 months or 1 year...but anyway are you in a rush? Permit yourself to slow down and breathe and download a meditation app for your phone and give the gift to yourself of meditation..... I feel awfull about hubby....ok let me meditate 5 mins and so on, meditate and pray for him to be happy and if you feel like insulting him, do it, whatever you feel today it might be different tomorrow, but live today...dont wait for tomorrow, tomorrow its always running towards you and always able to catch up...

Look for the little positive things... Today my W was sad as fvck but at least and this is the good I am taking with me to bed.she didnt mention the big D... So just look for the positive... YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT wink

Thats my 0.000000000000002 have a good night

When the student its ready, the teacher will appear...
Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.