i guess i should tell her we need to quit it ..not like its leading to anything else anyway ...
No,you don't tell her that she should stop or even that "you" will. You decide what you will do and then just do it.
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W mentioned how devastated her family is that she wants D and wishes somehow how we could make it work but just doesn't know how. I said i would see if I could find a group for her ..
There you go again.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!