Thank you, glad to know I've helped in some small way We signed up not too far apart, it's been quite the journey, hasn't it? I want you to know that I still feel the emotions too, so you're certainly not doing anything "wrong". I think if anyone can go through this and not have an emotional response (even almost two years after BD) then THAT is what I would consider wrong.
Originally Posted By: 7720
Yes I think W wants me to file because she likes to play the victim....I know that is mind reading but i have known her for 14 yrs!!!
Could be, but I think it's just a lot harder for the WAS to let go then they think it will be. Way back before my W and I started dating, she was best friends with my XGF. My XGF got furious when she found out W and I were dating. I told my W I didn't understand that, and she said "she doesn't want you, but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either." I think that's the state of mind of a lot of WAS's too, and perhaps a reason many of them don't push for D.
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I think the other part of my worry is that my W hippie old friends are moving back to town and I don't trust them. They are in their 60's with no money and I think they think my W is their meal ticket. They have moved here and back more than 5 times they are very emotionally unstable and I don't want them around my kids! They are basically charlatans.
I understand, I'm not happy about W bringing OM around my kids all the time either. But there are some things we have to let go of and that's one of them. Our spouses are going to bring people into their own lives and our kids' lives that we don't approve of, but as long as there's not danger involved we have to let that be our spouse's problem. I chose not to say anything to W about the kids complaining about OM. I offered the kids validating support, but told them their mom was making her own decisions now. What happened over time is the kids started expressing their dislike of OM to W, and THAT is when she started having OM over less and less. I am 100% sure that had I said something to W it would have made no difference at all, but when the kids said something it made her think.
We signed up not too far apart, it's been quite the journey, hasn't it? I want you to know that I still feel the emotions too, so you're certainly not doing anything "wrong". I think if anyone can go through this and not have an emotional response (even almost two years after BD) then THAT is what I would consider wrong. 