It’s common among we men to push ourselves during situation like this. We question ourselves over and over and want immediate answer without looking in the mirror to find us.
Sometimes it’s to get from A to B. Sometimes it’s to create the illusion of change when in all reality you’re just spinning your wheels. Sometimes it’s simply to avoid standing still and accepting the moment as is. I'm guilty of this myself, so know you not alone.
All that pushing can feel so smart and productive until you’re exhausted, overextended, overwhelmed, or otherwise ready to snap. I’ve been in all those spots—and not just way back but yesterday when I confirmed 2nd OM.
There are still days when my instinct is to push myself to the limits for reasons I may or may not fully understand in the moment. I suspect we all do this from time to time: spread ourselves way too thin while trying to get answer or reason for our fail marriage. We expand our world only to realize there’s only so far we can stretch or change.
I know there’s only so much my body, mind, and spirit can take now, so I try to learn from these days and forget about looking for immediate answer.
Give yourself a break. Continue to work on you and leave her alone. Here are some tip on how to give yourself emotional break:
1) Practice observing your feelings instead of getting caught up in them
2) Replace regrets with dreams. Whenever you start thinking about what you should have done, shift your focus to what you plan to do now. It’s far more empowering and a lot less draining!
3) Replace regrets with dreams. Whenever you start thinking about what you should have done, shift your focus to what you plan to do now. It’s far more empowering and a lot less draining.
4)Make it a label-free day. Every time you catch yourself judging yourself or a situation as bad or inadequate—things that always cause anxiety—consciously choose to avoid labeling anything. It’s a lot easier to stay calm when we limit our negative self talk.
5) Cry if you need to and are able. Crying can help you release chemicals and hormones and create a more relaxed, positive state of mind.
5) Write down the things you’re grateful for. It doesn’t need to be a list of traditional blessings. It can include your morning coffee or the fact that you're able to live to see another day. Identifying the things that have brought us joy is a powerful way to create more.
Elimination should for a day. Every time you catch yourself getting caught up in how you should be or things should be, tell yourself, “It is what it is.” Once we accept what is we’re in a much better place to create things as we’d like them to be.
