Paul, I don't mean MC. (You couldn't pay my H $1m to go to MC, are you kidding me?) I mean something more like family therapy. I feel like it would be helpful for both of us to have someone who can insert some reality into the situation and keep us on track. As you said, it is very difficult for all of us to see through our emotions. I am trying very hard, and really working on this stuff, but I do know that I am far from perfect. I also feel emotionally unsafe having any kind of discussion with my H, and i wonder whether he would be on better behavior (or could learn better behavior) if there is a third party involved.
Right now, I am in a place where I have to have boundaries to protect myself. I need to keep these boundaries but they, at times, result in me not communicating with my H at all. When I don't communicate with him, he then assumes the worst and gets angry with me about his assumptions. Then he spews at me, and I feel even more need for boundaries, and heftier ones at that. The whole cycle puts us at odds with each other indefinitely.
I don't think that being at odds with each other going forward is good for our children; but I am not going to capitulate to my H's demands just to keep the peace. I don't think that is good for anyone either. And it seems impossible for us to communicate effectively on our own. So I am just trying to find a way to make this better.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
