melissa, continued . . .

[paul19510]

Unbidden, I don't understand what you mean about dropping the rope.

I have tried very hard not to be controlling toward my H. What do you see as me being controlling?

I am not hostile TO him. I have been nothing but pleasant to him. What he perceives as hostile is me hiring a lawyer. I already explained to him why I hired a lawyer and he rejected my explanation.

I don't know what to do with any of this.

M, the WAS sees what they want. I guess we do too. We just do a better job (hopefully...I know I'm not perfect at this) of really looking at ourselves too. You're doing great. The moment passed.

Just love your kids. Understand that h is human and he did something that's unfair. At this point there's nothing left to UNDO it. so you are forced to move on and love the kids. And you would have done that anyway even if you had told them together. Keep the faith. J

Just refocus on feeling healthy for you and feeling great with your kids. Let H on his own walk. there's no real way to know why he told them without you.

And 3B, I completely agree. I always tried to just console my kids but not comment....My W didn't do that and there's just nothing I can do or could do about that. In the end, its only how I act with them that seems to be helping