Unbidden, I don't understand what you mean about dropping the rope.

I have tried very hard not to be controlling toward my H. What do you see as me being controlling?

I am not hostile TO him. I have been nothing but pleasant to him. What he perceives as hostile is me hiring a lawyer. I already explained to him why I hired a lawyer and he rejected my explanation.

I don't know what to do with any of this.

me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14