OK, wow. My H went ahead and told our kids that he isn't coming home. Without me there. After we had discussed a million times that such conversations need to be with both parents present, and without any blame on one parent or the other.

This is what he said:

I told them that I'm not moving home and that it's permanent. I told them that you and I both love them a tremendous amount. I told them that you're a really strong person and that when I'm with you, it's hard for me to be me. They get that because they can see the differences in me. They don't like it a lot, but I think they get it.

Then he sent me an email about how he wants peace, and please can I just agree to him having 50/50 custody of the kids.

me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14