Of course I was part of the reason for the demise of our M. Yes. I have totally owned that and apologized, and changed the vast majority of things he complained about. My H seemed happy to just be away from me and have no obligations or expectations. He was perfectly nice and friendly, and would say things like, "I'm not placing the blame on anyone for our M not working out," etc.
Then I filed for S. And, despite the fact that he wants a D, he is VERY angry about it. (As well as the fact that I insisted on using lawyers rather than negotiating this stuff ourselves.) He said I betrayed him and severely damaged our trust and trashed our relationship. That he expected better of me. I ruined his career, I am being childish, I am a bad role model for our children, the list goes on.
I don't know if there is something new that he is angry about, or if it's still over me filing.
This "backing down" thing I guess comes from the fact that he is very P/A. Or maybe just passive and resentful. He has never had much of an opinion, so I made a lot of the decisions. I would always ask him and he would almost always say he didn't care. But then once in a while he would blow up with resentment that I always "won." So it's possible that he has now decided that he is going to assert himself and not back down. The problem is, assertive isn't in his repertoire. Instead it's in your face aggressive.
Should I try to listen to what he has to say about being angry, or ignore him?
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
