Well your reactions are the normal ones, you havent fully accepted what happened and thats why the questions arise... In a healing proccess the pain will still there...and its necessary, but look at something... Do you feel the exact same way every minute that you felt 1.5 years ago? I am sure you dont.... Its hard to accept things without balancing from guilty to anger, but the most important thing is that you still have yourself and you had improve things, if another person doesnt accept that and doesnt want to live with you its their choice and you have to fully respect that...unfortunatelly there is nothing you can do about it.... When we say go out, meet people and do things for yourself, we are telling you what worked for us... I can tell you that in my situation, what its helping me at this moment its to respond to posts in this forum and spend time by myself, is it going to be like that always? I dont know but I go with the flow and thats whats helping me at this particular moment. You have choices, choose the one that suits you better...for some people its exercise for others its fishing, we are not all the same but all of us we arrive at the same conclussion at the end: ACCEPTANCE, until you dont love with that word fully you are not going to be able to move on.... I know you can do it, nobody wants you to be perfect, you are absolutelly perfect the way you are in each time of your life..
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
