LRT

[JJAC2005]

OK...here is a tossup question??
-probably more like a mini rant -

Honestly...I feel that I have been ok for the most part (sort of the worried well)....I have been taking care of myself, incorporating healthily living and physical activities....pressing on with a new life, new goals, interests and hobbies, ect.

However...I still feel somewhat in a rut about what seems like constant thoughts about my ex, the kids, and what was once a whole family. I have talked to a lot of others that say things like "sure, its normal to think about and miss your ex, the kids, and your marriage."
But I have some thoughts come in everyday? After being divorced 1.5 years? Yes, some of them are spurred by situations or triggers, some are questions I have that may never be answered, some are regrets, and some are flat out tearful moments of mourning (IE, just yesterday I was cleaning out an area of storage and found a treasure trove of pictures of the kids from about 5 years ago….I could hear the boy sayin to me what a great day he had, and his sister had such a huge smile on her face…yep, you guessed it…I tear’d up!
Sure, I spent a lot of the past year pursuing all sorts of knowledge, I did some major work, reflecting and learning, looking inward, looking outward, sometimes even dissecting everything apart as a way of trying to understand as much as I could about why things happened as they did, and how stupid we both were about things, and that things could be different if she ever granted me/us a 2nd chance....and NOW that one is off the table, as I got a pretty clear cut answer a few weeks ago about her no longer wanting to discuss that topic.

Anyway...how normal am I ??
I'm actually starting to get a bit concerned about all these periodic moments of sentimental journeys….

The thing is…I’m basically together…socially active and engaged when I get out and join others.
But always under the surface is “those little reminders”, and its buggin me that I’m way more in thought about my ex, than she is about me….

I am being introduced to a ton of other women…..by friends and family....even if I still dont feel ready for anything, I feel have to meet people, be social.
I suppose that’s a good sign, eh….at least some people think I’m worthy of a loving relationship…LOL