Working on Divorce Busting every Day!

[labug]

Mic, it's difficult isn't it? it takes courage to let go of control and really listen to what the other person is saying. Sometimes we do hold onto our position because we don't want to be wrong.

You know that this really isn't about who's right and who's wrong because there can be middle ground that meets everyone's needs. Working to find that creates more opportunity in the future and a healthier environment for your D. I think sometimes Dad's (from what I've seen) tend to "overcorrect" to reclaim their place in their children's lives in reaction to how they "felt" (yes, they may be reacting emotionally)in the past.

I'm not making a judgment either way, it is what it is. If he wants to become a great dad, allow him the space to do that. You may be pleasantly surprised.

I'm going to challenge you about this: I wanted to say how dare you think you have any decision in the parenting of these children when I believe that destroying a family and a divorce is the WORST possible thing you can do to children. Yes this is what I believe and no one can change my mind on that. I did not say any of that. Just thought it:)

It's good that you just thought it, but the challenge is to stop yourself when you being to think these thoughts. It's a subtle form of score keeping which keeps you stuck and in the one-up position.

The truth in most marriages is that both sides start to sleep-walk through it, neither giving much attention to the R that created these precious little ones. I used to think women who claimed the marriage should come first and the children second were a bit coocooforcocopuffs.

I view that stand very differently now.

I would guess that your H thinks he did everything he could but it just wasn't going to work. His truth is just as true to him as yours is to you.

Let go of the resentment. Change your perspective. It's a practice, you really have to work on it but it will be so helpful.